Daisy And Me People I meet when on my walks with Daisy

13Jul/140

A Grand Day Out

This week Fred and I were home alone.  These are the times I love, the men alone doing their own thing but also in the back of my mind is the fear of something happening. Thankfully that fear has rescinded hugely in the last year but it’s always there, somewhere. It’s not as if I couldn’t cope, it’s more the missing of the reassurance and calmness Lisa has when Fred is in seizure mode.   Also when one of us is away you want them to relax, enjoy their time and not to be constantly worrying about Fred at home.

The important thing for Fred is that he has a good time and so with the girls leaving for Dublin at 6am on Thursday, the two of us had a lie-in until nearly 10am. A lovely start to a lovely day. The two of us had a leisurely breakfast and afterwards Fred played with his toys while I went to my office. I’d decided that if the girls were off enjoying themselves the boys could too. With this in mind I promised Fred we’d go out to lunch.

Something he rarely gets to do.

At about half one the two of us set off. We drove across town, parked up from the bank and did some bill paying. Coming out from the bank I decided we’d walk to The Grand Hotel where I knew they did good chowder, Fred’s favourite. It was lovely to walk through town without a bother, saying hello to people and being part of the lunchtime bustle. In the hotel, a lovely old one in the centre of Tralee, Fred picked a good table and we sat down. The waitress came over to give us a menu and Fred put up his hand as if to stop her...

“Ah, excuse me,” he said, “Can I have some fish soup and chips?”

She looked at me; I nodded but whispered for them to be small portions. She wrote it all down.

“And some mayonnaise,” Fred said as she wrote, adding a “please” when she looked at him.

Soon our lunches came and we both tucked in. Though I was worried and was giving him the odd swipe of the magnet, it really was a lovely lunch. People were coming over to say hello, Fred telling them what he was having, if he was distracted long enough to talk. We spent about an hour there, eating and chatting without a care in the world. Afterwards we walked back across town, back to our car, Fred full of ‘fish soup’ and me just delighted everything had gone so well.

Then it was time for the library.

At Fred’s end of year meeting with the teachers they stressed the importance of keeping up his schoolwork, keeping his eye in with reading especially. Knowing that telling Fred he had to do homework during his holidays wouldn’t be easy I came up with the idea of rolling it in with library trips. Fred likes going there and the change in location from home might just take the ‘home’ out of ‘homework.’ Of course I’ve had to make concessions such as first the library and then a trip to the beach or as on Thursday first lunch then the library. There was a bit of trust on my behalf with that one.

The library trips have proved successful though. He’s knuckled down to the work, still capable of drifting off but he’s being doing good work. Teaching Fred requires patience, he can forget something as soon as he learns it but the concentrated time spent in the library tends to keep him focused. Importantly too I have to keep my patience, not easy at times but we’ve got there most days.  Tuesday was a tough day, Fred wasn’t recognising words we’d learnt on Monday and I think the librarian must have picked up on my breaking  patience...she brought over a card game to help with word recognition. When leaving I handed it back but she told me it was ours to keep, which was a lovely gesture.

After Thursday’s trip we went home. Both of us sleepy from the work and the big lunch. Fred deserved his lying out on the couch watching a movie. We actually did two hours of reading and word recognition so he’d put in a full shift. We got a book with a DVD from the library too, on art projects, so Fred read that while watching the DVD later.

After reading work earlier in the week we’d gone to the beach. Another place where my heart is in my mouth that something will happen but that is another fear on which I have to work. Denying Fred something out of our own fears has to stop. Lisa is way better at doing this than me. Fred had badgered his Mum into buying surfing shorts, flip-flops and a sun hat on Monday, so he had all the gear.

The two of us had actually gone to the beach on Sunday. I promised that if he could allow me to watch the tennis I’d take him later. So after Federer had broken my heart once again the two of us set off. My courage wasn’t enough to go all the ways down the beach but Fred paddled in the river, kicking and splashing his way around. On Monday I was brave enough to go to the water’s edge and we repeated this on Tuesday. Watching Fred paddling up and down through the gentle waves was lovely. He so loves the beach, as do I, and seeing him do what any normal kid does is always great. On Tuesday evening he said he was going to go swimming; now at that I had to draw the line.

On Monday evening Fred went up to change out of his beach gear when we got home. After dinner I went up to the room. There on the wardrobe door Fred had hung his new shorts and sun hat. Neatly placed by the wardrobe were his flip-flops. All ready for the next day but also tidied away with pride; his favourite clothes for his favourite place.

Compared to last week Fred has had a return to normality these last few days.

We’ve gone back to the beach, had fish soup in a restaurant and even done some homework.

The girls came back exhausted Friday evening, just in time for me to go off to Cobh for the night. Needless to say I came back Saturday even more exhausted and today is going to be a traditional day of rest for us.

Back to the library tomorrow for Fred.

So will begin another week of fun...

 

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Posted by John Verling

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